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The Mentalist Quote:
Agent Lisbon: (To the local Sheriff) We don't help, we take over.
The Mentalist Quote:
Teresa Lisbon: Bad karma doesn't have an expiration date.
Patrick Jane: Uh, actually it does. According to traditional Buddhist teachings. I'm counting on it.
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Man with Earthly Pure cap: It's not my fault I look like this.
Cho: It is, actually. With a low carb diet and exercise you could look very different. (Teresa is amused by this.)
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Teresa: Hey. Can you believe he fell for that old cell phone gag?
Patrick: Old cell phone gag? I invented that right there and then. Rather brilliantly, I thought.
Teresa: Oh, please. I've seen that done a dozen times.
Patrick: What do you mean? Where?
Teresa: On TV.
Patrick: Oh, on TV. Well, anything can happen on TV. The question is: where have you seen it done in real life?
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Teresa: Hey, is that Cara's MP3 player?
Patrick: Yeah.
Teresa: What are you doing with it?!?
Patrick: Ah, listening to music. Pretty good.
Teresa: But that's evidence. You can't play with that.
Patrick: Evidence of what? That she likes music?
Teresa: It's in the log as physical evidence. It's evidence.
Patrick: Okay. (Looking at the others) What's with her?
Rigsby: Seriously. If it's in the log, it's in the log. You can't touch it.
Patrick: Really. All right. Well, I'm sorry. I didn't realise it was a sacred thing. I'll put it right back.
(Needless to say, he doesn't put it back!)
The Mentalist Quote:
Sheriff: If what we have here is a homicide, I'm gonna need some help.
Teresa: Just to be clear: except in special circumstances, we don't help out; we take over. You need to be okay with that.
Sheriff: Okay. I guess. (Teresa walks on ahead.)
Patrick (aside, to the Sheriff): She's not really a morning person. She'll improve.
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Patrick: What's going on with your dog?
Parker: He's confused somehow. His behaviour - he's saying, "Hey, look, here they are. Give me my Slim Jim already."
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Patrick: Is there any way to tell from the scent trail how fast Nicole was moving?
Parker: Oh, sure. Dexter's detecting skin cells. They fall off your body all the time at a pretty consistent rate. The faster you move, the thinner the trail you leave.
Patrick: So are we following Nicole on foot or Nicole tied up in the back of a truck?
Parker: I don't know.
Patrick: You said you could tell how fast she was moving.
Parker: Dexter can tell. I'm just walking behind him.
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Patrick: Tell me, of the men on the search party, which one would you guess is a violent sexual predator?
Sheriff: What kind of question is that?
Patrick: Whose name just popped into your head? Someone's did! There's always someone.
Sheriff: This is your method? Asking people to guess who done it? Strange kind of detective work you guys do.
Teresa: Jane's being dramatic, but if somebody did victimise Cara and Nicole, statistics show that they'd be really likely to join the search party.
Patrick: They enjoy the deceit. Like being the invisible man.
Sheriff: Is that right?
Patrick: So gather up the seach party and let me have a crack at them.
Teresa: He gets results.
Sheriff: I know all these guys. I'll vouch for every one of them... Well, most of them. (Patrick and Teresa both look at him quizzically.)
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Patrick: I think she's a victim.
Sheriff: How can you tell?
Patrick: It's in her eyes.
Sheriff (sarcastically): Oh, well then, why didn't you say so? It's in her eyes. Here's me looking for facts.
The Mentalist Quote:
Patrick: Let him go.
Teresa: Let him go?
Cho: What for?
Rigsby: We had to fight to catch him.
Patrick: Oh, you're such policemen. Yes, let him go. Set him free. He's telling the truth.
Teresa: And you know this how?
Patrick: He liked Cara. Why would he kill her and kidnap Nicole? It doesn't make any sense. Besides, he blushed when he lied about his weight. A man without guile. Innocent. Cara, not quite as innocent as she's been painted.
Grace: By the word of a creep.
Patrick: An honest creep, whose stuff she took knowing what kind of a man he was.
Teresa: Free eye-liner doesn't make her a whore. And a man blushing, embarrassed by his weight, hardly makes him innocent. It makes him sensitive about his weight.
The Mentalist Quote:
(Rigsby is looking for something to eat in the car.)
Teresa: There's nothing left to eat. You cleaned us out this morning.
(Rigsby finds a packet of ketchup, and holds it up triumphantly. Teresa rolls her eyes.)
The Mentalist Quote:
Teresa (to Patrick on the phone): Where the hell are you?
Patrick: Nicole remembered everything. She can describe the suspect. We're looking for a tall, well-built man with brown hair and glasses. Mid-thirties.
Teresa: That's it? That describes half the men in California.
Patrick: Yeah, that's it. But at least we know it wasn't her that killed Cara. And it wasn't Rulon Farnes.
Teresa (sarcastically): Nice work. For this you illegally abducted her from the Sheriff's custody?
Patrick (a little contrite): Yeah. I was gonna tell you about it, but I figured seeing as it's illegal, best to keep you out of it so you have deniability.
Teresa (sarcastically): Oh, how considerate of you. Listen to me carefully and do exactly as I tell you. Take her back to the hospital right now and sincerely apologise to Sheriff Nelson. (She rings off.)
Kyle: Wow, what was all that about?
Teresa: My bad karma.
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