| Season 1|
| Episode || Quote|
| 102: Red Hair and Silver Tape || Patrick Jane: (making a call on his cell phone) Hi. I made a booking for two for this afternoon. Could you put us on the terrace? It's more romantic. Thanks... Yeah, Patrick... Lovely. See you then. (ends phone call then looks at Teresa) Don't fret, I wouldn't seduce you over a meal. That'd be very sophomoric.|
Teresa Lisbon: I didn't think you were trying to seduce me.
Patrick Jane: Come on, how could that thought not have entered your head?
Teresa Lisbon: (stares speechlessly at Patrick)
Patrick Jane: Your denial that it did intrigues me.
Teresa: Bite me.
| 102: Red Hair and Silver Tape || Patrick: He's telling the truth.|
Teresa: And now you're just trying to be contrary. Have you read his sheet?
Patrick: Did you hear what he said?
Teresa: He's a good actor. It was you who thought it was him in the first place!
Patrick: I said Melanie had a secret lover. I didn't say he killed her.
Teresa: If it wasn't him, then who was it... and if you say a man who likes red hair and silver duct tape, I'll scream.
Patrick: I don't want you to scream.
| 102: Red Hair and Silver Tape || Teresa: Hey.|
Patrick: Listen. I don't want to make you mad, but I've found something really interesting I want you to take a look at.
Teresa: You can't make me mad. Go ahead. What'd you find?
Patrick: You first. What made you so happy?
Teresa: Forensics. There are substantial traces of Melanie's blood on the seat of Hector's truck.
Patrick: Oh. So, happy day.
| 102: Red Hair and Silver Tape || Teresa: Everything's funny.|
Patrick: Well, if you try. I mean come on. Pretty funny. Strange though. I was sure the chef would bite. There's still a chance he could show up.
Teresa: The chef? Malcolm? Why do you think it's him?
Patrick: He uses way too much butter. He's a gluttonous baby. He's self-indulgent. He wants what he wants and he takes it.
Teresa: Too much butter. It's fascinating the way your mind works.
| 102: Red Hair and Silver Tape || Patrick: The killer plans to bring his victim back to this room and when he does, we're going to be here to greet him. How sweet is that?|
Teresa: This is all a big, elaborate joke you're going to apologise for now, yes?
| 104: Ladies in Red || Teresa: You're not soft on her, are you?|
Patrick: No. Maybe a little. We need to talk to the lawyer.
Teresa: Bennet? We need to talk to him. You need to stay well away. Did you say maybe a little?
Patrick: She's a gorgeous, grieving widow. Of course maybe a little. Don't worry, it's not going to affect my work! I'm a law enforcement professional. Jeez!
| 105: Redwood || Teresa: Bad karma doesn't have an expiration date.|
Patrick: Uh, actually it does. According to traditional Buddhist teachings. I'm counting on it.
Teresa (to Patrick on the phone): Where the hell are you?
Patrick: Nicole remembered everything. She can describe the suspect. We're looking for a tall, well-built man with brown hair and glasses. Mid-thirties.
Teresa: That's it? That describes half the men in California.
Patrick: Yeah, that's it. But at least we know it wasn't her that killed Cara. And it wasn't Rulon Farnes.
Teresa (sarcastically): Nice work. For this you illegally abducted her from the Sheriff's custody?
Patrick (a little contrite): Yeah. I was gonna tell you about it, but I figured seeing as it's illegal, best to keep you out of it so you have deniability.
Teresa (sarcastically): Oh, how considerate of you. Listen to me carefully and do exactly as I tell you. Take her back to the hospital right now and sincerely apologise to Sheriff Nelson. (She rings off.)
Kyle: Wow, what was all that about?
Teresa: My bad karma.
| 106: Red-Handed || Patrick: Everyone's palace is different. It has to be big and detailed and vivid. My palace is a mid-western carnival circuit I used to travel with my father.|
Teresa: Your people are carnie folk. You're finally starting to make sense to me.
Patrick (grinning): Not exactly. It's a long story.
| 106: Red-Handed || Patrick: You guys are going to be going over a bunch of boring files now, I expect, so I think I'll work here. Play a little, get the lay of the land. Give me a hundred bucks, would ya?|
Teresa: I don't think that's such a good idea.
Patrick: Sure you do. Come on, I'll give it back to you double.
Teresa: Look, here's a hundred. But you'll pay me back double, right?
Patrick: Triple. (He kisses the money) Oh, yeah, baby.
| 107: Seeing Red || Kristina: Okay. For free then. I think you act assured and arrogant but inside you are troubled with deep guilt and self-loathing. A recent trauma in your past, perhaps? But you're more than a little unstable. (to Teresa) You have your work cut out for you.|
Grace: You are good.
Patrick: Please. Not to boast, but I had quite a well-known horrible tragedy. A mere half-hour on the internet would tell you that I'm consumed with guilt and self-loathing.
Kristina: One look in your eyes would tell me that. And what makes you think that I would spend any time researching you on the internet? A little self-involved, maybe? May I go?
Teresa: Yes. Thank you for your time.
(Kristina leaves. Teresa give Patrick a very mischievous look.)
| 107: Seeing Red || Patrick: If anyone needs arresting, it's Kristina Fry. She knew that Rosemary was in danger, she knew where to find the car - the murder weapon, which means that she either does have supernatural powers or she was involved in the crime.|
Teresa: Come on. She simply did what you do so well. With an air of confidence, she made an educated guess. Where else would you dump a car around here? She's a good guesser.
Patrick: Well, yes, that's a possibility too.
Teresa: Yes, and that's what you object to, isn't it? Not that she's a con artist, but that she's so good at it. Maybe even better than you.
Patrick: Not at all. All right, yes. Not better than me, mind you, but she is good. And it's the good ones that are the most dangerous.
| 108: The Thin Red Line || Patrick: It's just funny what bad liars cops are. I guess they're not used to concealing themselves under questioning.|
Teresa: I'm a cop and I lie to you all the time. You never catch it.
Patrick: I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're translucent, my dear. I always know when you're lying. Sometimes I let you think you've fooled me just so you don't feel bad.
Teresa: Name one time.
Patrick: Last Thanksgiving you said you were going back East to your brother's house, but I knew you were actually planning on having 3 days at home alone to watch old movies and eat ice-cream.
Teresa: OK. So that's one time.
| 108: The Thin Red Line || Detective Blakely punches Jane in the nose. Teresa runs up.|
Teresa: You okay?
Patrick (holding his nose): Assault! Assault!
Teresa: I would rethink this new technique of yours.
Patrick: I can't disagree.
| 108: The Thin Red Line || Teresa: When are you going to learn to cool it without being told?|
Patrick: Oh, come on. They pissed you off too, the sexist pigs.
Teresa: They were!
Patrick: I just said they were.
Teresa: You were saying it ironically.
| 108: The Thin Red Line || Teresa: He made his bed. He can lie in it.|
Patrick: You know, I've never really understood that one. Just 'cause someone makes their bed, why do they have to lie in it? What's to stop them from lying in another bed, or on the floor, for that matter?
| 109: Flame Red || Teresa: Where do you get off giving orders in the first place? I say who goes and who stays, not you. |
Patrick: Well, that's, uh, fiery but calm. Very good. Why don't you try it with a more forceful gesture like... (he demonstrates...) I say who stays and who goes, not you.
Teresa: I'm serious.
| 109: Flame Red || Patrick: Now I have to access all of your innermost thoughts. |
Teresa: Yeah, right.
Patrick: I'm serious.
Teresa: Okay. So what am I thinking right now?
Patrick: You're thinking, I'm so glad Jane is joking around and he can't actually read my mind.
Teresa: No. Well, actually yes, but not for the reason you think.
Patrick: What reason do I think?
Teresa: Never you mind.
Rigsby: You're blushing.
Patrick: You are blushing.
| 110: Red Brick and Ivy || Patrick: Hey, thanks for not telling him I made you take the case. (She ignores him.) Lisbon? Hello?|
Teresa: Tell me the truth.
Patrick: Truth. Darth Vadar - Luke's father.
Teresa: (She slams a drawer shut.) Seriously, I've stuck my stupid neck out for you for the umpteenth time. I think I deserve the truth. (He closes her office door.) Why is Sophie Miller so important to you?
Patrick: She was my doctor.
Teresa: She's a psychiatrist.
Patrick: Yes, she was my psychiatrist.
Teresa: But you hate psychiatrists. So you always say.
Patrick: She was a good psychiatrist.
Teresa: She must have been if she managed to keep you in the room.
Patrick: It was a locked room.
Patrick: Yeah, I went through a rough patch and I did a little time in a hospital. Sophie helped me through that time.
Teresa: It's not on your record.
Patrick: No, and believe me, it's not easy to do. I know there's nothing shameful about having a breakdown, but I gotta confess I am ashamed of it.
Teresa: Thank you for being so honest with me.
Patrick: Sorry I kept it from you.
| 110: Red Brick and Ivy || Teresa: Aw. Jane kissed a girl.|
Patrick: Well, yeah. Yeah, on the cheek.
Teresa: Still counts.
Patrick: Counts as what?
Teresa: Nothing. Just saying.
(He gets in the car. Teresa looks at him, concerned.)
Teresa: Do you want to drive?
Patrick: Well, that's a very sweet offer. Do I really seem so sad?
Teresa: What? I'm just asking if you wanted to drive.
Patrick: You don't like the way I drive. You despise it.
Teresa: You drive way too fast.
Patrick: I drive just fast enough. You hate not being the one in control and yet you're willing to overcome your irrational fears to cheer me up. That's a beautiful thing, Lisbon. Thank you, I'd love to drive.
Teresa: Never mind.
| 111: Red John's Friends || Teresa gets out her badge.|
Teresa: Damn. (She puts it away.)
Patrick: How are you going to get us in there without your magic badge?
Teresa: You do the talking.
Patrick: No, you try.
Teresa: Don't be childish, I'm not... (the door opens).
Woman: Oh, I thought it was Harry. Who are you?
Teresa: Hi. Vanna Clooney?
Teresa: I'm Teresa and this is Patrick.
Teresa: Can... can we come in for a moment?
Woman: What do you want?
Teresa looks pleadingly at Patrick.
Patrick: It's to do with Harry.
Woman: What about him?
Patrick: It's best not to speak out here in public. (She lets them in).
| 111: Red John's Friends || Teresa: Minelli wants me to keep a watch on you.|
Patrick: What are you going to do?
Teresa: I'm not going to follow you around. Let's compromise. When you get into trouble call me first so I can try and minimise the damage.
| 111: Red John's Friends || Patrick: We're ready to go get Renfrew. Is the safe house all set up?|
Patrick: Good. I guess I'll see you over there later.
Teresa: Jane, please be careful. Remember, this is playing out just like Red John wants it to.
Patrick: This is playing out just like it has to. He has no choice but to try and silence Renfrew. He has to show himself. We're getting close. I can feel it.
Teresa: You can feel it. Like a psychic thing?
Patrick: No. I am quietly confident that we will get a bite.
Teresa: You think you're playing him and he thinks he's playing you. One of you is wrong.
| 111: Red John's Friends || Teresa: Jane, I know better than to try and stop you from doing what you think you have to do.|
Patrick: No, I'm fine about it. I can see Minelli's point. I can't be chasing every nutbag with a good story, can I?
Teresa: Yeah, sure you're fine with it. Just do me the favour of listening to me for a minute so I can say 'I told you so' later.
Patrick: Go ahead, say it.
Teresa: Say what?
Patrick: You told me. You warned me. You get the privilege of saying "I told you so".
Teresa: It's all right. Not now. This isn't over yet. We're going to find Renfrew and he's going to tell us what he knows.
Patrick: Well you can say it now.
Teresa: I don't really feel like saying it. Let me take a rain-check on that.
Teresa: What do you think it means?
Patrick: It means Red John is far more powerful than I ever thought. He's been way ahead of me this whole time.
Teresa: I mean the writing on the wall.
Patrick: Oh. I have no idea.
Teresa: It's a good clue though, isn't it? Jared was trying to tell us something important.
Teresa: Next time. We'll get him.
Patrick: Next time.
| 112: Red Rum || Patrick: Didn't want to bring her in?|
Teresa: You don't think she did this, do you?
Patrick: No. She's deep in it somehow, hiding something or someone.
Teresa: I agree. I'd bring her in, but on what charges? She's a whack job. She enjoys the attention. Quicker and more effective to just ignore her and let her come to us.
Patrick: That's very astute psychology, Lisbon. I'm impressed.
(Teresa makes an irritated noise and gets into the car.)
| 113: Paint It Red || Patrick: You gonna be grumpy like this in the room?|
Teresa: Yes, I am.
Patrick: Just asking. I don't think it's very professional.
Teresa: Seriously, don't push me.
Patrick: I said I'm sorry.
Teresa: But you had express orders to stay away from Orloff.
Patrick: That's why I didn't tell you. You have total deniability.
Teresa: That's beside the point!
Patrick: The point is my brilliant plan worked like clockwork.
Teresa: What plan? This case is not closed. You haven't done anything yet.
Patrick: Not yet, but you watch.
| 114: Crimson Casanova || Teresa: Nothing is happening.|
Patrick: You have to have patience, woman. (To Rigsby) She just doesn't have any patience.
| 114: Crimson Casanova || (After Patrick flicked someone in the nose, he goes and rests on the couch. Teresa storms in and waits for him to acknowledge her presence. When he remains silent, she kicks him to wake him up.)|
Teresa: You know damn well what. You assaulted a man.
Patrick: Nah, I just tweaked him on the nose.
Teresa: Technically, that's assault.
Patrick: Technically, he's an ass. He deserved it.
Teresa: Yes, he is, but this is not a school yard. You simply cannot do stuff like that.
Patrick: I did. I did it, and the seas didn't boil and the sky didn't fall.
Teresa: They will shortly. Wallcott is on his way down here with a thousand dollar per hour lawyer. If you give him a formal apology, he says he's willing to drop the whole matter.
Patrick: Hmm, let me think... no.
Teresa: Would you please be reasonable for once?
Patrick: I'm busy!
Patrick: I am. I'm just thinking that uh, he's going to drop the whole matter in any case.
Teresa: Oh really?
Patrick: I guarantee it. He's a shallow narcissist. It's all about image. And this whole business makes him seem small and silly. (Furious, Teresa reaches down and "tweaks" Patrick's nose. She storms away.) Wooh! Wah, ah-ah!
| 114: Crimson Casanova || Grace: What was she thinking? She's so beautiful and he's so... creepy.|
Rigsby: Yeah. Dr Rubenstein is hot too. How does he do it?
Patrick: All you need is a basic understanding of the evolutionary psychology of women, rigorously and fearlessly applied. You gotta know what buttons to press.
Teresa: Like we're toasters.
Grace: Like men don't have buttons too.
Patrick: Men are like toasters. Women... a little more like uh, accordions. (Teresa him her "What the...?!?" look. She and Grace get into the car. An accordion plays in the background.) (To Rigsby) I thought that was a compliment.
| 114: Crimson Casanova || Grace and Wayne are arguing about what women are like. Teresa (to Patrick): This is your fault.|
Patrick: No, it's not. I'm just sitting here.
| 115: Scarlett Fever || Teresa: Sorry to interrupt Jane, but we just caught a red ball. You gonna be much longer with this one?|
Teresa: Damn it, Jane! He's in a trance, isn't he?
Patrick: Well, I'd describe it as more of uh, deep relaxation.
Teresa: Hypnotized! You hypnotized him!
Patrick: I was doing a favor for the organised crime unit.
Teresa: Those cowboys?! (She knocks on the one way mirror.) Time to go guys.
Patrick: Yeah, I was just about to get the truth out of him. He killed two people. If you walk very quietly to the door-
Teresa: How many times have I told you, 'no hypnotism'? It's illegal and it's unethical and you cannot keep on doing it!
Patrick: Calm yourself, woman. It's no big thing.
Teresa: Oh, really?! This man's lawyer is right this minute coming down the hallway wearing a mean face. Something tells me he'll argue that point with you. Let's go!
Patrick: Well just let me get him out of his trance first, huh?
Teresa: Be quick about it!
Patrick: Yes ma'am.
| 115: Scarlett Fever || Teresa: It's not funny.|
Patrick: It is a little.
| 115: Scarlett Fever || Patrick: Another minute and I would've missed them. I do hate it when people say thank you.|
Teresa: He likes to play the Lone Ranger. 'Who was that masked man? I never got a chance to thank him.'
(She looks at him, smiling broadly and teasingly, and raises an eyebrow.)
| 115: Scarlett Fever || ([Patrick and Oscar are playing with fake swords. Teresa walks in and gestures for him to go.)|
Patrick: (Explaining why he has to leave) Fair maiden.
| 116: Bloodshot || Teresa: (upon seeing Patrick at work when he should be in the hospital) What the hell?|
Patrick: Oh, doctor's orders. She said that this was the best thing for me to do, get back to work.
Teresa: She did not! She said that you insulted the entire ward and were a complete pain in the ass!
Teresa: So, you can't do that!
Patrick: Well, what was I supposed to do, just sit there and listen to television? Besides, the food was terrible.
Teresa: You need the rest.
Patrick: I need to work.
Teresa: You're blind.
Patrick: It's no problem, honestly. My other senses are heightened. They're super heightened! I’m like Daredevil! Now if you'll excuse me.
(He starts to walk away)
(He walks into a pole.)
Patrick: Yep, heightened!
| 116: Bloodshot || (Teresa pinches Patrick on the arm and he yelps.)|
Teresa: I'll do worse if you don't stop mouthing off to people who are trying to help you! (Cho comes in.)
Patrick (muttering): Pinched me!
Cho: How is he?
Teresa: Guess what? He's a bad patient.
Cho: Who'd have thought?
Patrick: I'm not a bad patient, she's a bad visitor.
| 116: Bloodshot || Teresa: How many times do I have to tell you to stop interrupting interviews like that?|
Patrick: Oh, I'm sorry...oops. Just a minute...
Teresa: What are you doing?
Patrick: How will I know if I can see or not if I have bandages on? (He takes them off and blinks.) Ow. Here goes.
Patrick: Black as night.
Teresa: I'm sorry.
Patrick: Never mind. Andrews didn't do it.
Teresa: And did you sense that with your superpowers?
Patrick: Yes, I did. He's filled with anger, but not fearful, guilty, murderous anger. That has a tang of ammonia about it. His is more clean, righteous anger. Lemony.
Teresa: (dubiously) Lemony.
Patrick: This blind thing really works. Without my vision I can tune into my other senses much more clearly.
Teresa: That's great. Let me go make you a superhero costume. What do you want to be called? (Patrick puts his hand on her shoulder and moves his hand up to her neck, then her face.) What are you doing?
Patrick: I want to know what your face feels like when you're smiling.
(Teresa looks amused as he uses his fingers to pull her lips into a smile. Rigsby approaches.)
Rigsby: So, what's the deal boss?
(Teresa looks at him, blushing slightly.)
Teresa: Have forensics check him for any explosives residue. If he come out clean, let him go.
Rigsby: (still looking at them in a funny way) Will do.
Patrick: I'm still convinced that there's a connection between Medina and me, so before you make me that superhero costume I'm looking forward to, could you take me to visit with his widow?
Patrick: Thank you. And incidentally, you're smelling particularly good today. (Teresa turns and starts to walk very quietly away.) Is that cinnamon in the mix there somewhere? (She disappears into her office.) Lisbon? (He reaches out and paws the air.)
| 116: Bloodshot || Teresa: Sense of his being? What are you playing at?|
Patrick: Just go with it. I have to practice this touchy feely stuff. It's been a while.
Teresa: (puts her hand on his arm) You're not going to be blind forever.
Patrick: No, right, because bad stuff like this doesn't happen nearly as often as people think it does. (She guides him out of the room.)
| 117: Carnelian, Inc. || Teresa: I know. I can read your mind. |
Patrick: Oh, you can, really?
Teresa: You’re thinking that Mr. Skelling is innocent and we should release him. Cho!
Patrick: That’s amazing! That was exactly what I was thinking! How do you do that? Let me try. You’re thinking, ‘Jane is right, the man is innocent. We should let him go.’
Teresa: No, I think you just want him to be innocent because his guilt would be too simple. He has motive, opportunity, and no alibi.
Cho: Yeah boss?
Teresa: Let Lee Skelling go.
Cho: You're sure?
Teresa: (looking at Patrick) We have no hard evidence against him.
Cho: Okay, will do.
Patrick: We should go and talk to the Carnelian executives again, throw a cat among the pigeons.
Teresa: You think? Why?
Patrick: Oh, what if this is not about what it looks like it’s about? What if it’s about something else entirely?
Patrick: I don’t know.
Teresa: So you’re suggesting we throw a blind cat among the pigeons.
Patrick (not taking her seriously): Ha ha!
| 117: Carnelian, Inc. || Teresa: You know what's weird about these guys? None of them seem to give a damn. A colleague of theirs falls out of the sky and they seem okay with it. Is that guilt or indifference? |
Patrick: Corporate brain washing. Turns them into robots. Grief isn't productive, and that's all.
Teresa: I don't buy that. People make up their own minds. You can't brainwash them.
Patrick: Oh, sure you can. That's what these corporate retreats are all about. It's primitive brainwashing via group suffering. It's like office karaoke or fraternity hazing.
Teresa: How so?
Patrick: When the individual is humiliated, the perceived value of the group is raised.
Teresa: Mmm. I went on a retreat once when I got to be the head of the unit. I mean, I wasn't humiliated. I wasn't brainwashed.
Patrick: So you say.
Teresa: I wasn't! It was useful, actually.
Patrick: How so?
Teresa: Learning about communication and leadership skills. Building trust. Something you could profit from.
Patrick: What's that mean?
Teresa: Like you don't know you have major trust issues.
Patrick: I trust people. I trust you.
Teresa: No you don't and I don't trust you either.
Patrick: It's upsetting to hear that. Really? You don't trust me?
Teresa: Of course not! How many times have you lied to me, misled me, tricked me? Is that trust? No!
Patrick: Well, we have to remedy this. Let's do a trust fall.
Teresa: (looking suspicious) A trust fall.
Patrick: Yeah, I'm sure you did it on your 'CBI retreat.' It's where you turn around and fall backwards and I catch you.
Teresa: (more to herself) Oh yes, we did do that.
Patrick: You won't?
Teresa: We have a long drive still.
Patrick: Ah, here we have two co-workers recognizing the boundaries of their professional relationship. See, you want to trust me, but there is something holding you back.
Teresa: Yes. You're untrustworthy. It's my job not to trust you.
Patrick: Lisbon. I want you to know that you can trust me. No matter what happens I will be there for you. I will. (He moves his head down a little, looking deeper into her eyes.) I need you to know that. (She stares at him, then ever so slightly nods.) Now can I catch you?
Teresa: Come on...
Patrick: Please? (He makes gestures towards him.)
Teresa: Fine. (She turns around and takes a deep breath, but doesn't fall backwards.)
Patrick: (reassuringly) Come on... (She falls backwards, and he catches her.)
Patrick: See? You can trust me.
Teresa: (sarcastically) Oh wow, that worked! Suddenly I trust you!
Patrick: (wearing a ridiculous smile on his face) Uh-huh!
Teresa: I allow you to drive me around the country in this contraption. That's serious trust. (He smiles as they get into his car.)
(He's driving and it's now dark. Teresa is almost asleep.)
Patrick: Talk to me.
Teresa: (her eyes still closed) Do I have to?
Patrick: No. I could just fall asleep and we could drift into on-coming traffic. Your call.
She opens her eyes and sighs.
Teresa: Have you seen any good movies lately?
Patrick: No. You?
| 118: Russet Potatoes || Teresa: I did not just eat all that grease and cheese for nothing. The case is closed! You're just seeing suggestion everywhere, Jane. You're too suggestible.|
Teresa: Right, too much of a control freak for that?
Rigsby: Hmph! Pot meet kettle; kettle, pot.
Patrick: If we walk, you could burn some case-closed pizza calories.
Teresa: Ha ha, cute!
| 119: A Dozen Red Roses || Patrick: Whoo! She was some woman. Make the mighty Agent Lisbon blush like a schoolgirl.|
Teresa: Please. I did not.
Patrick: You know what I predict?
Teresa: Ah, just tell me.
Patrick: No, I think you should guess. It's good for you.
(She glares at him.)
Patrick: I predict that Brandon Fulton will pay a visit to the Hansen residence this evening.
Teresa: You think? It wouldn't be too clever of him.
Patrick: While love is not blind, it's often pretty stupid.
Teresa: I'll arrange a stakeout.
| 120: Red Sauce || Patrick: Let's have some cake!|
Grace: What about your gift?
Patrick: It's on its way.
Patrick: You really think that I would forget your birthday present? (Teresa nods.) It's on its way!
Teresa: Yeah, right!
Patrick: A little grumpy because Daddy didn't buy you a pony? (She looks a little hurt by this comment.)
(A little later...)
Patrick: Do I detect a slight residue of grumpiness in your demeanour?
Patrick: I swear to you, Lisbon, your gift is on its way.
Teresa: I'm not grumpy and I don't give a damn about your supposed gift. (She walks off.)
Patrick (to Rigsby): She's still grumpy with me, isn't she?
Rigsby: I'm not touching that!
(A couple of days later, walking towards her office, the door of which is shut...)
Teresa: What were you thinking, by the way? Unbelievable!
Patrick: Believe, Lisbon, believe. You've got to look at it this way; we've closed yet another case.
Teresa: Toying with mafia bosses is no way to close cases. It's stupid.
Patrick: Nah, you're just trying to find fault. And I know why.
Teresa: Oh, really.
Patrick: Yeah, you're still a little grumpy about the birthday present thing, aren't you?
Teresa: Will you leave that alone!
Patrick: Unbelievable. You know, you've got no reason to be grumpy any more. (He sticks a bow on her door and looks at her. As she opens the door, he gestures to the others to come and watch. She sees a little pony in her office with "Happy Birthday" draped over him. Her face lights up and she gives Patrick a big smile, which he returns (the others are grinning in the background). As she looks back at the pony she looks slightly tearful.)
| 121: Miss Red || Patrick: Thank you.|
Teresa: For what?
Patrick: For just letting this play out like this.
Teresa: Eh, well, we would've had to let her go on the murder charge anyway. Nothing to keep her on until we get some hard proof. And besides, this is a simple plan. It's when you start getting costumes and props that I get nervous.
Grace: Trick plays like this - my dad calls them chewing gum plays. Sometimes you fool the other guy and sometimes you just get gum in your hair.
(Later, Patrick and Teresa in the car...)
Teresa: Train station. Had to be a train station.
Patrick: What's wrong with a train station?
Teresa: People, noise, tunnels, trains, more people... Chewing gum plays. I can already see my hair with a big chunk out of it.
Patrick: You'd look good with short hair. (She looks at him.) Choppy and all kind of Peter Pan. Good for the eyes.
| 122: Blood Brothers || Teresa: I hope you got something useful for all the trouble you caused?|
Patrick: Yes, I did. The story of the mad axeman, Zachariah, who lives in these here woods.
Teresa: Ah, Z.
Patrick: Yes, Z. I would have gotten more out of them, but you came back too quickly.
Teresa: Reality check. I'm your supervising agent. I'm not your decoy.
(A golf cart drives by and Patrick jumps on it, leaving an annoyed Teresa to walk by herself.)
| 122: Blood Brothers || Patrick: Oh, that sounds horribly tedious. Shout if you need me.|
Teresa: Go ahead, relax. Enjoy yourself. God forbid you should do anything tedious!
| 123: Red John's Footsteps || Jane: He was here. He was right here.|
Lisbon: We saved a girl's life, Jane. We saved her life. We have Hardy, okay? He's going to tell us what we need to know.
Jane: Oh, you think so? You should have waited. We agreed on that.
Lisbon: What if Hardy had killed you right here?
Jane: And then he would have led you straight to Red John.
Lisbon: You’d be dead.
Jane: But you would have Red John.
Lisbon: I don’t think you mean what you say. I think you choose life.
Jane: Well you think wrong.
Lisbon: No. No, you think wrong! Can’t you see there’s people who care about you, who need you? You’re being selfish and childish and I want you to stop it!
Jane: I wish that I could, but you know some things you just can’t fix. You needn't be angry, it's just the way of the world.
Lisbon: We still have Hardy. He's going to talk. He's gonna give us Red John.
Jane: Right. We have Hardy. Yes.
Lisbon: We saved a life.
Jane: Yes, we did. We did. Hooray for us.
| Season 2|
| Episode || Quote|
| || Jane: Can I please continue working with you?|
Lisbon: I thought you were quitting.
Jane: You know I didn't mean that.
Lisbon: So the job is worthwhile, is it?
Jane: Uh, it's not that. I mean, it' not that at all. It's just... I have nothing else to do.
Lisbon: No jokes. From now, there have to be boundaries.
Lisbon: I need to know that you can do your work and be effective without creating a mess that I have to clean up.
Jane: No mess, I swear.
Lisbon: On that basis, you can remain with the unit.
Jane: Thank you. (He hugs her)
| || Lisbon: What's up that we couldn't talk inside? I'm busy.|
Jane: Well you might wanna be outside so you can express your anger without constraint.
Jane: I know you lied about the alibi.
Lisbon: I don't lie.
Jane: I don't know what you did on Tuesday night, but I know you weren't watching TV.
Lisbon: I didn't lie. He made risotto.
Jane: Now, this is insulting. You're going to continue lying to me?
(They stare at each other for a few seconds before she sighs, giving up.)
Lisbon: I can't remember. I can't remember what I did on Tuesday night. It's weird.
Jane: Thank you. It's OK. The memory is there, we can get it back. If I put you in a light trance...
Lisbon: Like that's gonna happen. Stop trying to hypnotize me.
Jane: What if something traumatic happened and you're blocking it out?
Lisbon: I didn't kill McTeer.
Jane: Well, let me hypnotize you so we can be sure.
Jane: Why not?
Lisbon: Because I don't want you inside of my head. (she leaves)
(Lisbon and Jane go to her home so he can hypnotize her).
Lisbon: It's kind of a mess.
Jane: Not at all. (Looking around). It's nice. I like those pictures.
Lisbon: Those are mostly from the last tenants. (anxious) Eh...where...where we're gonna do this?
Jane: (Looking at a shelf). Ahhh. Interesting
Lisbon: Let's just do it. Let's go.
Jane: No, I'm not hypnotize you Lisbon, here. You're too stressed.
Lisbon: Are you kidding me?
Jane: No, it's OK. (He walks towards her). Shh, it's OK. I'm gonna have to make all the stress leave your body. Maybe have you countdown from a 100, 99, 98... You go round and round...94, 93. Listen to me Lisbon, all the stress will have to melt away. (She starts relaxing). You have to feel calm and relaxed and very safe. It's just about impossible, I'm not hypnotizing you, Lisbon, it's not going to happen so you can just relax. (She start closing her eyes). You are not falling into a deep, relaxing trance state. (He looks closer to her). Sleep. (He pulls her close to him and hugs her. She lays her head on his shoulder). Alright.
(They're now sitting on the living room).
Jane: So you're going down the steps. Relaxing with each step. And now you reach the bottom, very low step. The ultimate place of calm. How do yo feel?
Lisbon: (in trance) Good.
Jane: Good. You're going to remain in this relaxed trance state. Now we'll think about Tuesday night. But first, sometimes you dance at that Spice Girls' CD, don't you?
Lisbon: Yeah (she moves her head like she was listening to the music).
Jane: I thought so. (He looks at her smiling, for a few seconds). Now Tuesday. You're gonna watch the whole day like is a movie. Every detail is in focus, you can zoom into any moment that you want. You can fast forward, rewind, you are in total control, OK.
Jane: Good. What do you see?
Lisbon: I'm finishing up the form 41 on the Milbank case. I feel...hungry, cause I skipped lunch. And new guy on the mailroom is hot.
Jane: Is he?
Jane: (He keeps thinking for a bit) Let's fast forward a little. Later in the day you're about to leave CBI.
Lisbon: Van Pelt's working late. She's a hard worker. She'll make well if she manages not to sleep with Rigsby.
Jane: Where do you go now?
Jane: Do you? Where..where do you go, Lisbon? (He moves closer to her)
Lisbon: I'm in my car, it's low on gas. (She starts getting anxious)
Jane: It's ok. You're in a trance state. Everything is ok.
Lisbon: I can't...
Jane: What do you see? Where do you go?
Lisbon: I...I don't know, it's blank. I just see a blank screen.
Jane: It's alright, it's alright.
Lisbon: I don't...I don't know where I went. I can't remember...I don't know where I went.
Jane: (takes her out of trance by placing a hand on her forehead and another on her knee) It's ok, it's ok, it's ok.
Lisbon: (awake) I can't remember.
Jane: It's a little weird.
Lisbon: I thought you were the best. I want my money back.
Jane: Mmm. Yeah.
Lisbon: Why can't I remember?
Jane: It's interesting, isn't it?
Lisbon: Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. Well, you know, thanks...thanks for trying. You probably have somewhere you need to go.
Jane: Well, I'm not gonna give up that easily.
Lisbon: I can count on you not to tell anybody about this, right? On the team (she cries).
Jane: (walks up to her and puts a hand on her shoulder) Oh, Lisbon. Hey.
Lisbon: Jane, I just need you to leave, ok? Could you please go?
Jane: Yeah. It's gonna be ok, it's gonna be fine, alright? I promise, ok? (He leaves).
(Jane enters Lisbon's office where she and Bosco are talking)
Jane: I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
Bosco: No. Good night Lisbon. (He leaves)
Jane: Good night Sam. Donuts from Marie's (He hands Lisbon a paper bag). I didn't see it, of course.
Jane: He's in love with you?
Lisbon: Don't be silly.
Jane: I know. Hard to fathom, but there's no accounting for taste, is it?
Lisbon: Hush! (She throws him back the donut bag).
(Jane leaves the office but turns back to give her a mysterious look, while she's checking a box with her stuff).
| || Lisbon: You know what? I don't need my gun, I can just hit you with my chair.|
Jane: (smirking) I think you'll find it's bolted to the floor.
Lisbon: Do you understand what is happening to you? You could get a prison sentence.
Jane: I understand that you're keeping me in jail in the hopes that you'll teach me a lesson. That's not gonna work.
Lisbon: I'm not keeping you in jail. (whispering) The law is keeping you in jail.
Jane: The law as played by Sam Bosco and you can make Sam Bosco do anything...whenever you like.
Lisbon: Right. (sarcastic) Oh, because he's so in love with me, I can make him do whatever.
Lisbon: No. No, I was only saying that cause that's what Rigsby and the guys were just saying. It's total nonsense. Sam Bosco is a happily married man. He hasn't the faintest interest in me that way. I have no influence over him whatsoever.
Jane: Guys noticed too. I'm impressed. He's very recessive in his passions. Hard to spot that he'd kill and die for you.
Lisbon: Trust me. You're away of.
Jane: Interesting puzzle you present. Lies and truth all mixed together.
Lisbon: Look, I hope we can get you out of this mess. But it's also true that I do hope that you learn a lesson from this. There are real boundaries in life. These are real prison walls.
Jane: (almost whispering) Only in your mind, Lisbon. Only in your mind.
Jane: Hey Lisbon.
Lisbon: Hey. So they let you out then?
Jane: Yeah. They did. Thank you very much.
Lisbon: Nothing to do with me.
Jane: So modest.
Lisbon: Right. Bosco's in love with me. He'll do whatever I say.
Jane: Yes. Yeah, it's a little far-fetched. He does love you. How could he not? But he's not the type to bend his principles over love, so I think it's something more concrete. You must have something on him.
Lisbon: You think?
Jane: Yes. Something he did wrong. Something very bad that you know about. Now, he's not the type to steal or do drugs. So, my guess, he hurt someone, he killed him. He killed the bad guy that he couldn't catch any other way.
Jane: Yes. And you helped him to do it. No? You found out after the fact and you let him off the hook because the bad guy deserved it.
Jane: I'm touched that you would risk your career over me. That means a lot to me.
Lisbon: If you're right, and I'm not saying you are, it would mean I broke the trust of somebody I respect and admire for your sake. If it is true, I would hope in the future you'd be a little bit more mature and responsible in your behavior.
Jane: I'm grateful and all that, but let's not go crazy here.
Lisbon: I should have let you rot in jail.
| || (Lisbon enters her office and finds Jane sitting on the couch)|
Jane: Hey. I heard about Minelli. I'm sorry.
Lisbon: Jane? You and Bosco. At the hospital. What did he say?
Jane: Well, he..eh...(he hesitates, then looks at her). He told me to look after you.
Lisbon: (she smiles and nods) That's all?
Jane: No (he hesitates again for a few seconds). He said if I didn't look after you, he'd come back and haunt me. (Lisbon smiles again). Total nonsense of course, but it wasn't the right time to correct him. (He shows her a bottle)
Lisbon: Tequila. Bosco's favorite.
| Season 2, Episode 9 |
A Price Above Rubies
| Rehab Doctor: Now, may I ask which one of you needs our help? Or is it both of you?|
Lisbon: Actually, we just wanna-
Jane: It's her.
Jane: Oh darling, please! Can we just this once do it my way? Just once?
(Lisbon is speechless.)
Jane: Thank you. In the beginning it was just social, but uh...wow. More recently, it's been starting to worry both of us. Right, darling?
(Lisbon, still in shock, nods.)
Rehab Doctor: Right this way, I'll introduce you to one of our intake specialists.
Jane: Fantastic. (looks at his cell phone) Oh, uh, that's the office. I'm gonna have to take this. Uh baby, you go ahead, take a look, I'll be five minutes. I'll be right there. (to rehab doctor) Take care of her. (to Lisbon) I'm very proud of you.
Rehab Doctor: I understand your nervous system, it's completely-
Jane: (calls after Lisbon) I love you.
| Season 2, Episode 10 |
| Lisbon: Do you know who the killer is?|
Jane: What do you think?
Lisbon: I think you said what do you think to make me think you do so I'll go with you, but really you don't.
| Season 2, Episode 11 |
| Jane: "AHA!" |
Lisbon: "Is that a useful aha or an irritating aha?"
Lisbon: "You go to hell. Take a toothbrush."
Jane: "Which way is that?"
Jane(to Lisbon):"Driven to succeed to the point of developing an ulcer. No tolerance for superiors less sharp than yourself. Shutting out girls who wanted to hang out with you, blowing off boys who want to get close. All the while, at every turn, wondering 'What is it that I really want?'"
Lisbon:Oh God, I used to love this song.
Jane:Loved this song.
Lisbon: I used to love this song.
Jane: You love this song.
Jane: Obviously, you want to dance.
Lisbon: With you? No.
Jane: Oh come on. You could pretend that I'm that mean, cold-hearted guy that you used to worship from afar, but never talked to.
Lisbon: No funny stuff.
| Season 2, Episode 12 |
|Jane: We're state law enforcement and we leave when we wanna leave.|
Lisbon: Thank you for your time.
Jane: She wants to leave.
Lisbon to Jane: I swear, sometimes I think you need medication. It's like you've got ADD or something.
Jane: Wow I'm impressed. How the Hell did you find me out here?!
Lisbon: Right, because we're lost without you!?!
Jane: Well, I wouldn't say that, but I'm still impressed.
| Season 2, Episode 13 |
|Jane: Hey. Need a ride?|
Lisbon: Where did you get that?
Jane: What, this old thing? Walter Mashbourne.
Lisbon: Even though you racked his car just so you could get a clean read on Elias?
Jane: Is that what I did?
Lisbon: Yes you did. Mashbourne is not mad?
Jane: No, we gave him a new experience. He helped us catch the killer, this is his way of saying 'thank you'. Get in.
Lisbon: We're not allowed to accept gifts from people.
Jane: It's not a gift, it's a lend. Now I know this fantastic restaurant in Napa, we can be there in about seven and a half minutes. It will blow your mind.
Lisbon: Yeah this is a pretty nice car.
Jane: Yes it is, come on...
Lisbon: Promise you won't break the speed limit?
Lisbon: Slow down!
|Season 2, Episode 14|
Blood in Blood Out
|Season 2, Episode 15|
|Lisbon: Where are my keys?|
*Jane plays with the keys in front of her*
Lisbon: You picked my pocket?
Jane: My turn to drive.
Jane: Oh, don't be such an old lady, get in.
*Lisbon shakes her head 'no'*
Jane: Your fears are groundless.
Lisbon: You're right, the car has airbags.
|Season 2, Episode 16|
Jane: Cheer up.
Jane: Uh, 'cause it's better to be happy than sad.
Lisbon: I'm not sad.
Jane: You're very sad. You've been sad for months, ever since, uh--
Lisbon: Uh what, is this some sort of therapy session? Did you bring tissue in case you make me cry?
Jane: There we go. Zing of anger, gets the blood up. That's a good start.
Lisbon: Is this what you came here for? To zing me? Because I've got paperwork to do.
Jane: "It's chilly around here. You still angry with me? ...Well confess, you do feel better. You feel much more alive. I know you do."
Lisbon: "You know what made me feel better? Punching you in the nose."
Jane: "Glad to be of service."
Lisbon to Jane: Find yourself a vending machine, buy yourself a candy bar... and come back when you're ready to play nice'
Jane to Lisbon:"if I were dying, I would call you... But you're already here, so."
|219: Blood Money||Lisbon: Patrick Jane, you were trying to help me. You were, you thought that if I made a big bust the PSU would Get off my back.|
Jane: You know Lisbon, I'm always going to Save you whether you like it or not
Lisbon: I don't need to be saved, I knew this would end in disaster the day I signed on with you, one day I'm going to get fired because of you, That's just the way it is
Jane: Some people might ask why you signed on with me in the first place.
Lisbon: We Catch a lot of bad guys, Most day that's enough. And also I... (They are found before Lisbon can Finish)
| Season 3|