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The Mentalist Quote:
Patrick: Hmm. That's interesting. Let's Van Pelt and I go up and take a look and see.
Teresa: (taken back) You and Van Pelt?
Patrick: Well, she's from a small farming town, aren't you?
Grace: Yes, I am.
Patrick: Right. Well that's what you guys call, uh, cover.
Teresa: What do you need cover for? You're a CBI operative.
Patrick: Oh, I thought I was a "consultant"?
Teresa: (giving up) Just follow procedure. (a little ticked) Have fun!
Patrick: Where is the fun in that? Shall we?
(Grace does not look happy.)
The Mentalist Quote:
Teresa: Where's everyone?
Grace: Weird. They all called in to sign out. Jane wasn't feeling well, Rigsby's got a hot date, and Cho's got Kings tickets.
Teresa: Son of a...
Grace: What?
Teresa: Jane doesn't get sick, Rigsby's not on a date because he's in love with you, and the Kings aren't playing tonight.
Grace: You know about that?
Teresa: Yeah, they're on an East Coast road trip. They're playing the Knicks tomorrow night.
Grace: No, I mean about Rigsby. How do you know about that?
Teresa: Everybody knows about that. The attorney general knows that.
The Mentalist Quote:
Wayne: You better call Lisbon, give her an update.
Patrick: You call her.
Wayne: I can't. I'm driving. Cho?
Cho: No way.
Patrick: Oh, come on, guys. I just robbed a Russian mobster. You can't call Lisbon?
The Mentalist Quote:
Patrick: So, you open up Beype’s office and crap! There’s a dead body! What are we going to do? You gotta report it, but how do you explain your presence in his office? A quick but dirty solution: you drag the body out and lock the doors back up before calling the police.
Frank: Who is this guy?
Teresa: He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s making sense. You sure you don’t want to change your statement?
Frank: No.
Patrick: Oh, please, Frank. Don’t be silly to deny it. Five minutes with our persuasive Agent Cho here and Ms. Dwayne will tell all.
Frank: Back off, man.
Patrick: (Holds his hands up with faux surrender) I want to, believe me. I have zero interest in your sex life. But one thing that occurs to me: a room like this would have security cameras in it, yeah?
Frank: Yes.
Patrick: And surely you wouldn’t knowingly record yourself making lo-ove on the boss’s carpet. You’d have to know the cameras in the room are off, probably because you turned them off, you being the head of security. They are off, aren’t they Frank?
(Frank nods guiltily.)
Patrick: So the question now is, Frank, how long have they been off and who else might have known they were gonna be off last night? (looks at Teresa and Cho) You guys can take it from here. I am starving! I gotta get me some eggs. You said Gahrettei’s, right? Thanks. (He walks off.) Teresa: You ready to tell us the truth?
(Frank looks at Cho, who’s staring at him with an icy expression. Defeated, he looks at the ground and follows Teresa.)
The Mentalist Quote:
Patrick: Let's not start with the badge. Let's get the lay of the land first, then we'll use the badge if we have to.
Grace: Um, okay, but don't embarass me.
Patrick: What do you mean?
Grace: You know what I mean.
Patrick: No. What do you mean?
Artist: Morning, folks. Look around, make yourself at home.
Patrick: Will do. Hi.
Woman: Hi.
Patrick: I know what you're thinking.
Woman: You do?
Patrick: (looks over at Van Pelt) You're thinking my fiance is a lot younger than me.
Woman: (laughing) Oh, no.
Patrick: Well, she is. I'll let you in on a little secret. I was her college professor. Seduced her.
Woman: (frowning) No kidding.
Patrick: Uh-huh. Her parents hated it; a lot of drama. Totally worth it, though, right babe?
Grace: OK, that's what I mean. Come on now, stop it.
The Mentalist Quote:
Patrick: You gonna be grumpy like this in the room?
Teresa: Yes, I am.
Patrick: Just asking. I don't think it's very professional.
Teresa: Seriously, don't push me.
Patrick: I said I'm sorry.
Teresa: But you had express orders to stay away from Arlov.
Patrick: That's why I didn't tell you. You have total deniability.
Teresa: That's beside the point!
Patrick: The point is my brilliant plan worked like clockwork.
Teresa: What plan? This case is not closed. You haven't done anything yet.
Patrick: Not yet, but you watch.
The Mentalist Quote:
Patrick: You must have had a contentious relationship with your father.
Frank: Excuse me? No.
Patrick: Tell me, I can't tell with the hair in her face and the sobbing, but I imagine Miss Duane is quite attractive, isn't she? I mean, receptionists are often hired for their looks.
Frank: What are you talking about?
Teresa: Where are you going with this?
Patrick: This way. Look at the seams, these shoulder seams here and the way he's lying so straight like this and that shoe that has come off.
Teresa: Yeah, we all noticed. Somebody must have dragged him here.
Patrick: Yes, but dragged him from where? And why? Care to tell us Frank?
Frank: I don't know what you're talking about.
Patrick: Oh, alright, then, let me explain. You and Miss Duane came up here to have sex in the boss's office.
Frank: That's absurd. Why would I do such a stupid thing?
Patrick: Well, because it's forbidden and thus very sexy of course, especially if you have father issues. And who doesn't? It's a furtive but powerful challenge to the paternal authority. (Teresa grins)
The Mentalist Quote:
Teresa: What was his previous employment?
Patrick: He was a musician. Jazz guitarist.
Stevie: Yes. How did you know that?
Patrick: I looked at his fingers. Guitarist's fingers. Jazz with a Flamenco edge, judging by the ridge on his thumb.
Stevie: Yes.
Patrick: He was playing a gig at one of these ghastly events that you have to go to and you struck up a conversation. You love jazz, so you could talk with him easily, which normally is quite difficult for you outside of business.
Stevie: I...yes...that's...but
Teresa: I'm sorry Miss Caid, he's just showing off.
(Patrick shrugs)
The Mentalist Quote:
Patrick: Beautiful. May I borrow it for a while?
Artist: Uh, I don't know about that. How do I know I'm going to get it back?
Patrick: Let me put it another way. Lend it to me or Agent van Pelt here will take you and the painting back to Sacremento and kept you there and ask you mind-numbing questions for hours and hours on end. (Grins. The artist gestures in surrender.) Thank you.
The Mentalist Quote:
Caid: 50 million dollars right there.
Patrick: It's about $10,000 right there. It's a fake.
Caid: The hell it is.
Patrick: Fake as a $6 bill.
Caid: That's not funny, son.
Patrick: Take a look back here by the trees, guys on horseback, third one in from the left next to the footmen.
Caid: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see the horses.
Patrick: What do you think? Is that an M16 or a Kalashnikov.
Caid: Son of a *****.
Patrick: Yeah, I think it's a Kalashnikov.
Caid: Son of a *****, there's a machine-gun in my painting. How in the hell could you not notice that? I mean, if this bozo here could see it, why couldn't you?
The Mentalist Quote:
Teresa: The bad news is that he's travelling on a diplomatic passport. We cannot touch him under any circumstances.
Rigsby: If I could just ask him a couple of questions...
Teresa: State department was crystal clear. Keep away. Arlov controls an oil pipeline route this country needs. It's a national security issue.
Rigsby: Another argument for energy independence there.
Patrick: Where's he staying?
Teresa: I repeat. Do not touch!
Patrick: Oh, no. No touching. I promise.
The Mentalist Quote:
Teresa: Nope, neit, no, Minelli says no too, that's four no's.
Patrick: Minelli always says no. It's his job.
Teresa: And it's my job to listen to him.
Patrick; You'd walk away. If Arlov is our man, you'd let him get away with murder?
Teresa: He didn't do the murder. He probably bought the painting from the murderer.
Patrick: We'll never know unless we go talk to him.
Teresa: We're gonna close this case, but not by causing an international scandal.
Patrick: Arlov's the key.
Teresa: I want to get Harry Lashley's killer as much as you do, but we cannot go after Orloff. The State Department...
Patrick: A fig to the State Department!
Rigsby: I agree. Screw 'em.
Teresa: That attitude is why I'm in charge and you guys aren't!
The Mentalist Quote:
Patrick: For what it's worth, I just wanted to apologise for my bias rant earlier. I needed a pretext to burn the picture and your family dysfunction became it.
Caid: Well no, sir. No apology needed. There was some good hard truth in what you said.
Patrick: Yes, there was. But, you know, no-one likes to be too judgemental.
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The Mentalist Cast The Mentalist Cast
The Mentalist Cast The Mentalist Cast
The Mentalist Cast The Mentalist Cast


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